Don't tell me to write...




I was supposed to write about my trip to Hawaii as soon as I got home. I did not. I was also supposed to write about my trip to the CCMA’s. I have not. I was ALSO supposed to write a No.1 chart topping single to make my millions! I have not…yet ;) You see my brain, nor my heart nor my pen/pencil/keyboard work that way. “Supposed to” doesn’t magically fill me with emotions or the desire to write. And what did we learn last blog post class?? Andrew does not write without emotion!! :)

I also appreciate some peace and quiet when I write. It helps with vulnerability, it also helps keep me sane, and on point. There are a couple young girls in this household, and an older…’busy-minded’ girl who keep things pretty hectic around here. Alas, 2 of these girls are napping and 1 is at school. 

So here we are, 3 weeks ago walking into our beautiful townhouse in Kihei (Maui), 10 pm at night Hawaiian time (1 am PST) exhausted from 14 hours of travel, bags of groceries in hand. Paper bags. One of which contains a nice bottle of red wine to help us relax before bed. Anyone see where i’m going with this? 


14-hours travel time + 30 minute red wine clean up time = bed time. 

Day 2, lets try this again. I bust out the pans to do my duty of bacon and eggs. 

*sizzle* *POP*

Big fat wad of bacon grease heading right for my eyeball. Luckily I blink in time and I only almost burn my eyelid off and spend the morning with an ice pack on my face. 

Hawaii, we are not friends yet. 

So we load up the minivan and head to out for some retail therapy! Bounty Music, home of the most Ukulele’s in the world! These beautiful pint sized guitars put our vacation back on track. As I got to talking with the young lady working at the store she told me her mom had just passed away, due to cancer, last week. So of course I shared LJ’s story with her, and this was just the first of many ‘coincidences’ or ‘signs’, however you want to perceive them, that LJ had for me on this trip. 

Haven, my almost 2 year old daughter, and Jaidyn, Jaime's 7 year old daughter, were along with us for the trip, hence the minivan which was AWESOME! We were all at a park and the girls playing on their own. A little blonde haired, brown eye'd girl, who looked about the same age Lilee would be, appeared from no where and started playing with them. We couldn’t see her parents anywhere. They never came to check on her, and never came to pick her up. Her name was Jade, and we found out she was, in fact, the same age Lilee would have been. They played for about 20 minutes then Jaime and I turned around to look at the IN-LINE HOCKEY RINK (ya, I know!! awesome!!) on the beach beside us, and just like that Jade was gone.

A couple days later we met another little blonde girl, Amelie, this girl DID have parents who we became friends with. Amelie was around Lilee’s age too. Of course there are a millions kids around that age, but what felt so unique was the immediate love she had for not only Haven and Jaidyn, but for me as well! Every time we saw her I was greeted and sent off with the biggest smile and the warmest hug. 

One night we were heading out on a sunset cruise, and somehow Jaime and I both forgot our sunglasses. Except Jaime's are in the ocean somewhere around Kamaole Beach. These are kind of a necessity when you are trying to watch a big ball of fire dip down into the ocean. Luckily, Lilee was looking out for us. Yes it's spelled different, but none-the-less Lilly’s General Store was right across the street from where our boat was launching so we each grabbed a new pair! 

Lastly, not once but twice we were driving behind two different cars who's license plate started with LFL (LOVE FOR LILEE) a name we have used for her story since diagnosis. 

A quick note here, out of respect, for those who don’t know me that well. My ex (for lack of a better term), Chelsey, is Lilee-Jeans mom. But her and I split up, and then I met Jaime… more on that in future blogs maybe! LOL. Back to Hawaii!

We listened to a ton of great music. Usually accompanied by cheap drinks and food at various happy hours around town. The highlight was watching Mr. Willie K perform with his blues band. Willie is a world class performer and one of the biggest names in Hawaii.

I learned to play my ukulele, and put on a house concert for Amelie's parents which lead to an invite down to San Diego where her dad wants to set up a little SOCAL tour for me! I also wrote/rewrote a couple tunes on it which some of you were lucky enough to hear this past Saturday at the Dog Days Music Fest in Abbotsford. BIG shout out to Randy and Aryn Savard of the Goddess Movement, Abbotsford for putting this event on!! 

Most of you know that the whole reason we decided to go on this last minute trip to Hawaii was for the 2 year anniversary of LJ's passing. I didn't make any set plans for how I wanted to spend September 6th,  so we just went with it. I anticipated it being a hard day, but it was our last full day there so we decided to pack up the van and head to the north shore to a little town called Pai'a to find some BIG waves. We did some shopping, walked around and enjoyed the laid back vibe this little surf town provided. Later on in the day I was able to have some alone time with my thoughts and feelings and coincidently the rain started. But like most rain storms in Hawaii it was quick, warm and beautiful. Jaime went out with the girls to buy some Lily's and a beautiful Lei we later planned to let go in the ocean for Lilee. 

We headed down to the beach, at sunset and let the flowers go. It was quiet, it was beautiful, and it was perfect. 


Hawaii was everything I needed it to be. 

The CCMA Blog should be coming soon.. and hopefully that #1 song as well ;) But Haven just woke up and pee’d all over the floor..soooo thats it for writing today! 

Aloha nui loa! 

(Much Love)